Doppler, A Roadies View

A Production Christmas Poem

Another one I wish I wrote but didn't....sorry about the capital letters, I copied from an email.

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS; THE DEADLINE WAS TIGHT.
THE TEMPERS WERE FLARING; THERE WAS NO END IN SIGHT.
THE GROUND PLANS WERE HUNG ON THE WALLS WITHOUT CARE,
WHILE HUNDREDS OF BOX TRUSS WERE FLOWN IN THE AIR.
THE CLIENTS WERE NESTLED ALL SNUG IN THEIR BEDS
WHILE WE IN PRODUCTION WERE BANGING OUR HEADS.
THE SCRIPT HAD REVISIONS; THE COMPUTER HAD CRASHED.
THE MESSENGER WAS LATE; THE PA NEEDED CASH.
THE PRODUCER WAS PHONING TO BRING IN MORE TROOPS.
WE WERE PUSHED TO THE LIMIT AND JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS.
THE CREW WAS ON OT, THE BUDGET WAS TRASH;
THAT GOOD OLE' CONTINGENCY HAD COME IN A FLASH!
WHEN OUT ON THE STAGE THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER.
WE ALL RAN TO SEE WHAT THE HECK WAS THE MATTER!
THE PRODUCTION MANAGER SCREAMED THAT THE CUES WERE ALL WRONG.
AND REHEARSALS WERE RUNNING SIXTY MINUTES TOO LONG!
THE BAND MEMBERS WERE BRAINLESS, WITH NO TALENT AT ALL!
THE SET NEEDED ADJUSTING; IT WAS ONE FOOT TOO TALL!
THE MOON ON THE BREAST OF THE NEW FALLEN SNOW
WAS A PAINFUL REMINDER THAT WE COULD NOT GO.
THE LIGHTS IN THE CITY WERE TWINKLING AND VIVID
WHILE SITTING AT HOME, OUR SPOUSES WERE LIVID.
THEN WHAT TO OUR WONDERING EYES SHOULD APPEAR
BUT A DOZEN LARGE PIZZAS AND FOUR SIX-PACKS OF BEER?
WITH SOME CARBS AND SOME SPIRITS WE MERRILY PUSHED ON.
THE JOB FELL IN PLACE AND WE WRAPPED AROUND DAWN.
AS WE HANDED OUT PRAISES AND WISHED ALL A GOOD NIGHT,
ALAS....A SLEIGH AND REINDEER ABOUT TO TAKE FLIGHT.
THEN A JOLLY OLD MAN GAVE A LAUGH AND ADVICE;
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL,
WILL YOU ALL PLEASE GET A LIFE !"

Labels: Crew, fun, poem, Production, Roadies

posted by Doppler at 10:51 PM